Knockin' On Heaven's Door

Where have I been?

2006-07-11T23:41:00.000-04:00

I guess I neglected this blog.
Well since the start of May.
SPORTS
Roger Federer lost the French Open final. Mind crushing for me. Roger Federer wins Wimbledon for the fourth straight time beating Rafael Nadal in four sets Yay!
I've been downloading a ton of tennis videos. I better start watching them.
COMPUTER
We didn't have the computer for three weeks in the middle of June. I was going crazy of boredom and I got crabby at everyone. I guess it's normal by now. I felt lost without it. Especially in the first week of Wimbledon. Well Pierre the computer guy got it back and it was late because the company didn't send it and done with it when they said they would so it was crazy.
TENNIS
I've started to play tennis again. Once every Saturday. Last Saturday I played for two hours and I felt extremely weak but I woke up fine. I'm glad I got over what everyone will be thinking. I just worry about myself. I guess I've grown a bit.
BIG BROTHER
Big Brother has started. Really interested in it because it's All Stars. I'm really rooting for Marcellas and James. I'm slowly liking Janelle more and more. She seems to put on a face for everyone but when she talks serious I have so much respect for her and I'm actually interested in what she's saying not when she's acting all dumb blonde. Last Saturday an internet friend of mine Daniel's live feed account didn't work for him so he asked me to try it out for him and it worked. So he allowed me to keep the username and password so it's great. I like the small talk but strategy talk is of course great. Seems like Alison is going this week since Marcellas has promised to vote her out.
NINTENDO
My brother downloaded super nintendo and all it's games for his computer which is great! I play it when he's gone to work or at a friends which is rare these days. I'm playing super mario all stars,super mario kart and super tennis.
STORIES
I've been reading a lot of love stories trying to get over bad ending in movies. Pretty interested in them. I read to the end to see if together then I'll read it.
That's it for the past two months :)

So this is how it feels

2006-05-07T16:31:00.000-04:00

Well it's been two weeks sincee I last blogged so here I go again. I've been getting into fights with my parents, mostly because I'm mad with myself but they'll never know that. I've had a ton of regrets and backtracking on what went wrong and what the hell is wrong with me. Wishing I could go back in time and change it and it would change my life for the better rather than the worse in which I am in the present day. I feel so lonely in this world with no one to share my feelings to and with(face to face). Everytime I see myself I see an ugly face and ugly body an ugly person. I'm guessing this is what depression is like. Mostly brought on by myself.
Anyway to lighter news. I've been watching a lot of short films and videos on youtube. I'm not really into myspace cause it's boring to read. Again I've been downloading a ton of tennis videos and on bittorrent upstairs on my brother's computer he keeps deleting my download. It's so frustrating but I don't feel like saying it and waste my energy on him. He treats me like shit anyway.
My parents bought me an air mattress to replace my regular matress. I'm like what the hell? I laid down on it and it sucks it's nothing like a real mattress plus it smells like a new haven factory(i don't know how it smells but my mind wanders).I obviously said no and my mom put out a new sheet now my bed is all green when my favorite color is red. I hate green but it doesn't really matter.
All my tv shows are ending for the season. The big downer is that Will and Grace will be ending forever there are only 2 episodes left :'(. That show is so funny. Gotta go to supper, Hope not to eat too much.

Long Blog about nothing

2006-04-27T18:11:00.000-04:00

Conservatives just reversed our softwood lumber deal. All the courts said we were in the right and that we should get our money but NO! Stephen Harper being pro-american and kissing Bush's ass had to stop it and let the americans keep the money they stole from us. How wonderful! not. God this is stupid we've fought for it for some two years. He knows he can get away with it because we just came out of an election and he knows the other parties won't get together for another year or so to try and defeat him so he can do whatever he wants.
NHL Playoffs have started. Go Sens! The ottawa networks basically commit half their broadcast to it. It's annoying but at least they cover it. Sens are up 2-1 in the series and play again tonight. I'm rooting for all the canadian teams but I like the sens more.
The computer stopped starting last night and I felt so lonely without it. Now it's on and I'm happy.
I've been listening to Fiona Apple for the past two weeks and she's growing on me. I tend to like that low key sad music since there's not many rock bands that you can hear what they're singing or rather yelling. I wish I knew more rock bands like Simple Plan,Good Charlotte and kinda Blink 182. Comment if you're reading.
MTV's preview keeps going. It was suppose to stop last Friday but it keeps going. I like MTV Canada because of MTV Live. They talk about issues which is good. I wish they still showed MTV Usa shows.
I went a week and a half without Doritos. I KNOW! I finally got some this tuesday.
I have a friend. When I say I have a friend I mean friend. Like I of all people would be in this situation. He wants to know if he should be with this person is this person doesn't want anyone to know about them and first to have sex. I think it's soo stupid but he's seriously considering it! Me being catholic I am totally against it but he's not so I haven't put in my "religious" view. I think he should first have a relationship with this person before having sex. Comment!
Randy Ferbey won the Players Curling Championship :) But Roger lost his second match of the year to Rafael Nadal in Monte Carlo Tennis. Roger better get over his block over beating Nadal.
ByE

Playing with Men

2006-04-12T18:20:00.000-04:00

This week was my last week of curling until next fall. On sunday we played a sheet against sheet thing where you had 3 shots to try to get a tight guard,top12,top 8,top 4,teeline,backline,button. You get two points if you're first and one if you're second among the sheets. We came in tied for second losing by one point. Sucks I know. Monday Morning I got a call from Neil(one of my instructors) and he asked me if I wanted to play in the men's league that night as a spare. I was soo excited. I played great not missing a lot of shits. If I did it was by inches. I played lead and swept my heart out on every shot. I loved it. But it was all older mean kinda which sucks. We won 7-3 in 6 ends and afterwards I threw some rocks. That's it for the season. I'm gonna pay for a student membership next season because I still wanna keep curling.
Canada lost the Worlds again. We are really sucking compared to other years.
Today it went up to 23 but went down as it progressed.
We got a new desk for the downstairs computer with compartments and stuff. It's pro but the keyboard is soo low that I can't put my foot on the chair and type.
That's this week!

18 degres

2006-04-03T17:33:00.000-04:00

It went up to that this week. Pretty nice but yesterday was cool and I won 5-3 even though I only made one shot. Federer won Miami again :) Hope he keeps winning and get the French Open.
My brother was out for the weekend so I could use his computer! I downloaded some videos and watched them from Azureus.
Last week I saw a great movie! It wasn't a blockbuster type movie but it was better than that. I love romance movies but the ending sucked because they left eachother at the end because he didn't wanna tell his friends about the relationship. It ended that way and I was like what the hell I want more! It was made in 1998 so there's probably isn't a sequel but the ending was kinda made for a sequel and for them to get back together. Made me so sad the way it ended. For once though it didn't take away from the movie which just tells you how good it was. The second time I watched it I couldn't watch the ending cause I knew I would be sad again. I don't cry over movies alot only like three times.
Not much else going on. BYE!

Computer Down

2006-03-24T16:47:00.000-05:00

The computer fan was to get fixed from sunday night to tuesday night but he didn't do anything and said it was fine and it's the same. Stupid. Anyway I can't play my tennis videos cause of this crappy computer. I have like four tennis matches to watch and I can't. So frustrating.
I curled this sunday ans played third. My skip basically didn't make the right calls and gave the other team a steal of two in the last end to tie it. I'm gonna skip next week for sure.
Canada is in the playoffs narrowly after coming back from 8-4 to get 3 steal 1 steal 1 to win 9-8. Incredible. I taped it last night and I'll tape the two playoff matches tonight to finish my women's worlds tape window. Federer won Indian Wells and has a good chance of winning Miami with Agassi withdrawing and Moya beating Nadal :-) Nadal has beat Federer three times losing once so I'm pretty scared of him right now and hope he keeps losing so they don't have to face eachother.
My face is getting more pimply for some reason. It better improve since I'm still using facial cleansing gel. Nothing else really.

Havent blogged alot

2006-03-15T17:41:00.000-05:00

Not much has happened since my last post. Haven't curling in a week and a half, haven't had much to eat cause there's nothing to eat, I'll probably order something tonight since all I've had for supper the last two times is ten pieces of minute steak and five garlic bread pieces. Curling is on the Tim Hortons Brier and the Women's Worlds start this Saturday intertwining with the Brier Semis and Final. The Pacific Life Open has started and the great Martina Hingis is making a huge comeback beating #4 Lindsay Davenport to get to the semi finals. I'm wondering if I should buy curling gloves that cost $50. How useful are they? Also I wanna buy a yellow wristband(LIVE STRONG) and a white one that support cancer and poverty. See ya next week!

18th Birthday

2006-03-02T18:36:00.000-05:00

Yesterday was my 18th Birthday. Not much happened but it was nice when every1 said happy birthday. The cake was soo good. It was like a twinkie cake but better. Im gonna buy curling gloves with the money they gave me.
Last Saturday was okay. I lost both games but got my feel for draw weight back and we played pretty well. The scores didn't indicate how we played. It was a ton of fun playing air hockey and cards. God I suck at cards. Last Sunday I lost when I risked a shot and gave them the win but I won on Tuesday. I love having draw weight! I'm gonna sign up next season for the men's league since I don't wanna play against thirteen year olds anymore.
That's it for me

Hard Practice

2006-02-21T18:47:00.000-05:00

Today me and my team practiced, I had to sweep a ton of rocks and I was and still am very tired. When I'm tired and hot I cough and my legs don't wanna do anything. My games are Saturday 12.30pm and 7pm in Alexandria . My first game is against a Cumberland Team, I'm from Cornwall of course. You can see if I won here-http://www.ontcurl.com/info/pdf/jr_mixed_z1.pdf It should say so. Anyway I wanna have fun, Lynn will be our coach. She isn't very nice but she's not playing is she hehe. There'll be some 4 hours between games. I hope I can pass the time by nicely. I'll bring a lunch but we'll buy supper.
Not much else has happened. Canada has 14 medals. The curling teams are in the playoffs and play in the semis tomorrow. GO CANADA!

Spring to Winter

2006-02-16T23:30:00.000-05:00

Yesterday it was spring like with it being +8c and sunny. Today when I woke up it was windy,snowing,freezing ran and -10c. What a change in 14 hours. Our first snow storm of the winter, it doesn't feel like a canadian winter without the snow storm.
On Tuesday I curled with my Alexandria teammates Amy,Ethan and a 9th grader who seems nice and seems to want to be really good. I wore a hat because my hair would always get in my face when I was throwing, a lot of people were commenting on it. I'll have to get a haircut on Saturday. I got the draw for the OCA Junior Mixed Zone 1 and We get a first round bye. Our first game is on Saturday 12.30pm and then at 4pm. My goal is to play as well as I CAN because that's all I can control. I'm usually so wrapped up in my teammates making their shots. Of course I want them to make them but I feel the blame since I'm the skip. Anyway I hope I do well on Febuary 25th.
In the Olympics Canada has 8 Medals. 1 Gold 3 Silver 4 Bronze. COC has a goal of 25 medals but that would be hard to reach, I'd be happy with 20 medals and 4th place.I've been watching curling, but I haven't woken up at 3am since it's too early but I am waking up to watch the 8am draws. Even that's early since my mom likes her time alone in the morning.
That's it for me.

Confusion Team

2006-02-08T16:16:00.000-05:00

Well throughout the past week there's been confusion about who Im going to be playing with in Alexandria. First since Amy hadn't shown up for 3 weeks she was off the team. Then Lydia and Stephanie didn't want to go so Lynn got two beginners. Then this Tuesday Amy came and said she still wanted to play so she's on the team. The team is ME-AMY-ETHAN-A grade niner. I think It's still okay as long as the lead can draw.
Last Wednesday while taking my shower as always I kick my lef to get the excess water off but this time it hit the tape and i was bleeding all over. It hurt like hell. It's better now though.
This Saturday My parent's pictures were in the paper because their 25th anniversarry was this Monday. But when they left and came back the tv stopped working. Of course they blamed me like they always do when I DID NOTHING! I'm tired of being blamed for everything. Anyway this Monday my aunt got them beautiful flowers and my dad got my mom great flowers and a box of chocolates.
The Olympics start this Friday. I Can't Wait! I swear I WILL be up at 3am to watch curling games. My parents will yell at me but what can they do? I have nothing better to do!
Alot more happening than before. Bye!

Blocked Ear

2006-01-31T19:10:00.000-05:00

Hey. Roger won the Australian Open :-) I won my two games last Sunday and today. 3-1 and 12-2. Monica can't play with us for Junior Mixed so Lydia is. It's not a good team but I'm still playing.
Yesterday I took a bath and when I got out my left ear was blocked so I couldn't hear out of it. I woke up today and I still couldn't. But when I was jumping today :p It became unblocked, but I'm still dizzy. I guess it's cause I'm not eating much cause I stopped eating Sloppy Joe's I got tired of them. That's it for me.

Conservatives win Canada

2006-01-24T18:39:00.000-05:00

Well the Conservatives have won a Minority Government. CON 124 LIB 103 BLOC 51 NDP 29 IND 1. I'm glad the NDP got 12 more seats than they did last election but I'm pissed off that the Conservatives won even if it's a minority government. Conservatives will probably try to get private health care, they're basically about the rich which is never good since the rich get everything and the working class get nothing.
Today in curling I made a great shot, an in off like Jennifer Jones' today in the 1st end. We ended up tying but that was the highlight for me. Ethan and me are still trying to get Monica and Amy to play with us in the Junior Mixed zones. Amy keeps saying she'll check her schedule but I think that's bogus what eighteen year old has a schedule.
Aussie Open is still going and I keep staying up late to watch it. I hope I'll be able to sleep earlier when it's over.
Bye!

Mix of Emotions

2006-01-18T02:21:00.000-05:00

Hey.
Let's get curling out of the way first. I had to play with the little kids sunday and I lost badly 7-2 but played yesterday and won with Ethan and Scott 8-1. Ethan talked to me about playing in the Junior Mixed and I said ya! We're thinking of getting Amy and Monica to play with us. Monica is someone that curls at the club basically that is average. The Entry Deadline is Febuary 3rd and the zones are Feb.24-26. We'll have to talk about this even more but I'm already excited for it. The only other time I've competed in zones was for the Bantam Boys I think four years ago.
In tennis the Australian Open has started! I keep staying up until 4am to watch it since it's a 14 hour difference between Melbourne,AUS and Cornwall,CAN. I think I'm getting away with it, or I hope.
Now to the title.
During the past four to five days I've had a range of emotions. Being hyper then impatient and mad. Why is that? Plus why can't I stay mad at people, plus when I'm okay with my dad he still ignores me which makes me mad at him again. For example I talked to him in the car about curling and he didn't answer to the topic he only answered to hockey. So frustrating. My mom is my favored parent if you couldn't guess. I can talk to her about stuff with her not ignoring me and she's interested in what I say. When I get in a little fight with my mom he gets into it and says go upstairs and watch tv since it's all you do. Just shows how he thinks of me eh? Those comments stick throughout the years. I guess I'll stay mad at him internally and only talk to him when he talks to me so he won't have his tantrums.
Talk to ya later!

the Call at 8am

2006-01-11T16:12:00.000-05:00

Well yesterday Amy called me at 8am to tell me she couldn't drive me to curling that day. If she did it the night previous like she has before then I would get my mom to drive my brother to work so we would have the car to drive me. So I couldn't go to curling last night which sucks.
Last Sunday I bet the best team in the club with a sucky team, it was great we had such great luck too. The opposing team is the same I've played against before that I lost 16-2 or something they're so arrogant I hate playing against them, they make it not fun.
Well My leg is much better it hurt a bit after it and I felt weak but that's to be expected after not curling for two weeks. As you should know by now I love curling and tennis and it takes up much of my blog :p
That's because there hasn't been much conflict in the house. Oh I'm almost done my French, I'm determined to finish it by the end of the month because I won't do it in Febuary.
Not much happening right now, the australian open is starting next week, I hope I can tape stuff. Plus I have like eight videos to watch on the computer that I haven't already.
I ordered my black book of curling on christmas eve and it hasn't come in yet but I mailed dallas(the maker of it) and he said that he just got our money order and he's sending it so it should be in by next Monday.
Bye!

Can't Move cause of the Pain

2005-12-27T16:53:00.000-05:00

Last Night I couldn't sleep because of the pain in my upper left thigh. I think I strained it two weeks ago and it's hurt on and off every since. Well since last Thursday it's always hurt except right after I wake up. Well last night was the worst I got in bed and it hurt like hell so I turned the tv on for an hour went back to bed still hurt but I guess since I was really tired I slept for an hour, got up again and it hurt even worse so I got out of bed went downstairs to see sacha(my dog) at like 7am then went back to bed still hurt. Went to my mom in bed and told her it really hurt so she told me we'd go to the clinic and get it checked, she told me to sleep in her bed since she was getting up and I slept for six hours, it must be my old bed. I keep putting RUB A535 on it but it doesn't help it! I need to see the doctor this week because I wanna play curling on January 8th. Oh and yes it hurts when I walk too.
This Christmas was good.. I got a computer microphone/headphones,two simple plan cd's from my brother which I thought was really thoughtful because I didn't ask for it and he went in my music folder to see what band i liked :-). I also got a curling book that's coming in soon, a tennis game that doesn't work so I'm exchanging it, new pyjamas as well. I don't get why I need new pyjamas since the ones I have are good. I'll use the pyjama top as regular t-shirt since it looks like a regular t-shirt lol. We had a good supper. All roasted except the stove top stuffing, roast beef,tunips,potatoes. They were all so yummy and full of flavor. It was also nice because the christmas music was playing. And my mom got a foot massager which has to be the best gift anyone got.
My brother says he's not moving out till next September and my parents are mad cause he's fine one week and wants to go the next. I don't really care, I'm just gonna miss his good computer and the games. Oh he's gone to ottawa 'till thursday, a sign for things to come?
It's the offseason of tennis but I'm really into it lol. I know I'm gonna be mad if my dad sleeps on the couch upstairs during the Australian Open which means I won't be able to tape much. SLEEP DOWNSTAIRS OR IN YOUR OWN BED!
Hockey is on. I really like sporting events when it's country vs. country especially in hockey where canada rulz. The Spengler Cup and the world junior hockey championships are on this week. Plus the sens are doing great this season only losing what 6 games? pretty good.
It snowed yesterday and yes it was a white christmas and my leg hurts like hell. BYE!

Tree is up!

2005-12-20T18:26:00.000-05:00

The tree is finally up! Six days before Chritsmas the tree got up. Two presents are under right now, I hope I got all the stuff I asked for but I know that won't happen. The election is ongoing and I found a game on cbc.ca where you can be one of the party leaders and run a campaign. I was rushed because I played it too long before curling in which I one against a friend at curling. As usual I played with Amy and Ethan, we click when we play and that's something I don't get with anyone else. A special friendship there.
My brother said he's moving out in January and it sucks! He'll take the computer and the game counter strike:source will go with it. I love that game! Also I won't be able to play certain games and videos because this computer sucks.
Vote NDP! ;-) Also my mom said she didn't like the NDP, I said she voted for them last election, she said she didn't. So she lied to me last election when she said she did. Gotta love those lying moms!
Merry Christmas

Way Better

2005-12-12T18:14:00.000-05:00

I'm feeling way better today. My stitches are slowly coming out and I'm eating regular food now. I got a haircut two weeks ago and I like it and it's way better than long hair. Played curling last week and won. I'm beefing up on schoolwork and to get a lot done before Christmas. There isn't much else to talk about really. Christmas is coming up but like before out tree isn't up. Most likely it will be up by Saturday. It's great when it's up but my parents wait till like 2 weeks before. I was wise to give them my list a month ago so they would have time to get the stuff. Well curling was on all last week Kleibrink and Gushue won woot! It's getting really cold! -20 celcius tomorrow. I shoveled the driveway and my ears were really cold, they probably got numb at the end because I didn't notice them. Byez!

Teeth Out!

2005-12-01T16:10:00.000-05:00

Sorry that it's been so long since I've blogged. It's because I felt weak and got too dizzy when going on the computer but I'm okay now and I was yesterday too. Well it's been a busy week so I'll get it up to date.
On Wednesday went to the hospital to get my blood done. I first had to weigh in, which is always embarassing espescially if you're not that confident in it. Let's say there was a 9 in it and no I'm not 900 lbs. lmfao. The nurse was extremely nice, one of the nicest that I've ever met. I was happy I asked a lot of questions and why not it's my surgery and she answered them nicely and made some jokes as well which makes a patient comfortable.
Onto Friday, Went to the hospital at 8:30 got dressed and got my blood pressure done at 9 and and got dressed. I had to wait in my room for an hour. A freakin hour! Well I finally got out at 10.52am and she put an IV in my hand and I couldn't dare look at it or I would do something stupid. Guess what... I waited an hour in the bed in the pre-surgery hallway. I did nothing. I swear it's the most boring morning that I thought would be the most nerve wracking. They finally took me in the surgery and it was freezing! They put a hot blanket on me and took me the anesthetic is going to work soon, surprisingly they didn't put it on my face they laid it down on my chest and it worked I was down in ten seconds(They didn't tell me to count). When I woke up I was in a room and a nurse was there taking care of me. A nurse that I saw frequently in the pre-surgery hallway, she was nice of course. Went to my room and said "Hi Mom" in my drowsy like voice not really knowing where I was or what was happening. Actually when I woke up I thought everything before it was a dream or a nightmare whichever way you put your turn on it. Waited an hour and I just wanted to get out of the hospital. For some reason we took the elevator HUGE MISTAKE. Got out of the elevator and threw up all over the floor and some on my coat. It's the third time i've thrown up in my life. 1-Kindergarten Closet in Kindergarten 2-Church Bathroom in Grade 6. I kept saying I'm sorry I'm sorry feeling really embarrassed. I felt so out of it but better than before I vomited. Got home laid down on the couch and watched TV, I slept from 7.30-9 and 10pm-11am. 13 Hours of sleep could you tell how tired I was. After that I was too weak to do much muchless shower. I could only eat bread and milkshakes WHAT A RIP OFF! I WANT MY DAMN FOOD. Oh did I say from Friday to Tuesday I was the bichiest person ever. I still can't eat chips until December 15th, I'm going to miss you Doritos!
I went to Dr.Monet's today for a checkup, I thought it was extremely early since my mouth still hurts. He told me the infection and swolleness was gone and I'd be able to eat crunchy foods in two weeks but no earlier. The stitches would dissolve in a week. I can only eat soft foods. I'm going to eat my sloppy joe's tonight and maybe hamburger. They're not crunchy foods. My appointment was scheduled for 4pm but they called at 1pm, they wanted me to come right away it must have been a cancellation. He was very fast but at the same time informative to what will happen and what should and shouldn't I do.
Got Back from Luc's Barber Shop to get a haircut. As always my hair is long when I get a haircut so it took what 50 minutes. Luc cut my hair thank goodness. He's way better than Terry and he can hear which is always a plus. We talked a bit and he did a great job, he didn't style it the way I wanted but I did that at home and it looks great. It will be a relief not have to brush my hair aside anymore or at least for a week ;-).
Domtar is going to close!!! Why is everyone reporting that Cornwallers are sad. We're ecstatic! We are the most polluted city in Ontario, not a label you want to have and that was because of Domtar. When it closes we won't be that anymore. I don't care about the people that worked there GET ANOTHER JOB! It's not like it's the only plant in cornwall or the only job you can get here.
ELECTION TIME! Or as Rick Mercer says in his blog Elexmas. It was called this Monday and it wasn't a surprise but the campaigns are underway. Unfortunately I won't be able to vote but I've been a political junkie since Grade Four. I used to be a Liberal but since last election I am an NDP Supporter. I like more of their issues than the Liberal Issues. More environment plusses and stuff for the people and not like the Liberal where they throw around Canadian's money to themselves. Paul Martin came into Cornwall today, I didn't know about it until today. I would have gone if I had known about it. Oh and I want a NDP sign but my parents say no. I keep saying VOTE NDP when I see a sign or a commercial of any party. VOTE NDP I say it really fast so it sticks. I convinced them to vote NDP last election remember.
Oh I didn't curl last Sunday or Tuesday because I was feeling the effects. The Olympic Trials start Saturday and Canadian Curlers are in great anticipation. The trials is the best curling championship in terms of quality.
Talk about a long entry. Phew I got to take it easy ;-) Byez!

Embarrased

2005-11-22T20:25:00.000-05:00

I got embarrased this Sunday in curling. I had to play with a sucky team against the best team and lost 16-2. I wanted to leave after the 3rd end, completely frustrated. The other skip making stupid remarks didn't help either, jerk. Today I played well won 8-1 with Amy and Ethan. My delivery has improved because I'm more forceful instead of being dull. I'm liking that me and my team are quick to see the ice conditions saying if one side is faster than the other and matching rocks after some two ends. Improving! Lynn keeps telling me who's junior and I already knew. I would play in bonspiels with them if there were any, I check the ovca site and theres only bantam tournaments. sucks.
Tomorrow I'm getting blood work done for my Friday surgery. I'm not scared about it I'm just getting my wisdom teeth out. I think the surgery is at 1pm. Oh and I have to stay in the hospital for four hours. Fun huh? I can't play curling Sunday unfortunately because I have to recover from it but I can play Tuesday.
I broke my livestrong bracelet. Amy doesn't have anymore! I want another one! One that actually goes to Lance's charity. My mom vacummed my room and she messed everything up! I didn't want to clean it up when my mom made the mess but in my room everything has to be a certain way,don't ask it just does I hate a mess in my room where I sleep. I can't sleep in a messy and dirty room. Have I mentioned we haven't got paint to paint my room. All it is is wall. Talk to you laterz!

First Snowfall

2005-11-15T19:58:00.000-05:00

Well today was the first snowfall. It started at about what 9.40am or something and it's come incredibly late cause it's mid November. Most likely because of the extremely long and hot summer and people are predicting a really bad winter to kind of compensate. I miss the snow and the cold, most southerners won't understand but I'm Canadian ;-). The cold and show bring me comfort while the hot gets me uncomfortable but free. The Snow brings me fond memories and the cold breeze is okay. Over doing it and by that I mean it snowing like hell and extremely cold and windy and I can't breathe through my mouth but it doesn't matter if you're in the house right.
Today I curled even though my dad didn't want me to because I still had a cold but it didn't make it worse, if anything it made it better. I played with a good team Kyle,Ethan and someone else. Amy couldn't give me a ride because of hockey and my mom and friends were like hockey? Like they were surprised she does it, to be honest I was too. My mom gave me ride and thankfully my brother was sick so she didn't have to wake up at 6am.
I played great! The most consistent and great game I've played and it was against some good competition. In the fourth end I made a great runback even thoiugh I was nervous calling it but I treated it like any other shot like I did with every shot just treat it like it's nothing. I threw it and boy was it good, my yelling at the end was full of panic YES YES YEEEEEEEEEEEESSS! and I made it perfect! What a shot after my opponent's skip made two great angled shots and he made one last week too so he can hit and we won when I made a nice board weight tap back to win 7-3. By the way he had a chance to score three in the end I made my shot and he finally didn't make an incredible takeout. He even said if me and my third Kyle would form a team we would be good but I said I'm too old I'm Seventeen and he's Fifteen, I'll give it some thought. It was flattering he even said that about me and my third. I'm 8-1 throughout the season, No Curling last Sunday.
Anyway I still have my cold and I keep hoping it gets better. Still carry around my kleenex box and it's not finished yet which means I'm not sneezing as much :-).
That's it for me. Goodbyez!

First for everything

2005-11-08T19:26:00.000-05:00

I just lost my first game 3-1 after having an open hit to win it and I completely missed it and now I'm really dejected and wish I had it back and go through it diferently but there hasnt been a time machine invented yet so no luck. Played on Sunday and won with Amy and Ethan and Scott. Ethan didnt play with us on Tuesday and I think that's why he's lost. It's not the same without him.
Not much other than that except starting my christmas wish list. I'll probably only get like two things from it.
I got a cold last Thursday. I'm blowing my nose every hour 3x and coughing hard and my head is messed up too. I have to clean the keyboard and mouse with Alcohol which makes me not want to go on. You can sense how lazy I get. Couldn't get the flu shot because I had the cold. Went to the doctors on Saturday and that's what she told me and my parents. My dad gave the cold to me and that sucks! He doesn't have to clean anything but I do. That's how this house works I don't get to do stuff or not do stuff and they do.
Bye

Got a ride

2005-11-02T17:42:00.000-05:00

Since my brother had the car for work I had to get Amy to give me a ride to and from curling. She thinks her car is old but it's a 5 year old car that's new to me! Old is an 80's car. Even some cars that looked great but are 10 years old arent old. We talked a lot and I felt grew our friendship. I played again with Amy and Ethan and together we played better than the other team and they were good opposition. I made two great shots a pick and a freeze both perfect. We ended up winning 9-1 and I'm 6-0! To improve I need to be more consistent in my play and stop flashing my hits. I don't know what it is just I need to stop worrying about the outcome which is what I do perfectly before I make a good shot. Anyway I won on sunday too playing with amy and ethan, we always want to play together cause we get along like we've known eachother forever.
As you can see curling is big for me :p
Other stuff:
I've become really sad and to another extent mad at myself. It's for all the mistakes I've made in the past and I get it fixed in my head that I can't do anything to help my problems. It's stupid I know. I have to push myself forward which is tough when you don't think that much of yourself when you're alone with your own thoughts. Do other teenagers feel like I do sometimes WITHOUT resorting to drugs,alcahol? I know there has to be other people who are like this and also in my awkward situation in life.
I'm talking to a lot of my friends on the net and they always bring a smile to my face. Makes me feel uplifted and forget about my family. I get annoyed by them even when they don't try to, I just get tired of them even though I can't live without them.
Hello NOVEMBER!

Now that's curling

2005-10-25T19:24:00.000-04:00

I played with a guy and a girl who are 19 and they're really good. Not just shot making but we communicated like I never communicated before with a team. With the stopwatches the times the weight how hard to throw options. I can't describe it enough and I hope I play with them again and btw I beat them last week. I played third and that always means that it's a great team. We won 9-1 :p That's what curling is about not struggling with your own team mates but being a unit with them and that's exactly what we did. On Sunday I won 9-0 with Amy, we always play together so we don't play with little kids. Lynn said she's gonna make teams and I doubt it becaus she said that a week ago.
Before that at 2.45 I went to Dr.Claude Monet's who is a dentist to get my x-rays done and talk and plan about getting my wisdom teeth out. I'll go under and they'll take my teeth out on Friday,November 25th and I'm gonna have to fast the night before. I have no problem with that I've gone longer without eating. I won't be able to curl that sunday because It won't be healed correctly by friday to sunday. I hope it will by that Tuesday. I've never had surgery so it will be all new to me. I will be nervous but I trust my parents. Nothing other than that except I picked up Austrian TV that has tennis on it. :)

Made Two Hits for my life

2005-10-18T19:11:00.000-04:00

Came back from curling today and we played like shit. I couldn't make a hit, I made two at the right times which just got us to win 4-3. We played against a really good team but their skip couldn't draw he went too deep too many times. I wish we could play together more, my problem is I can't get on line with my takeouts they curl too much or too little.
Sunday the first day of curling went okay. It sucked as well lol. Me and Amy played together but we had two crappy front enders. Somehow we won 3-2. I made an incredible triple to win the game, I said I wanna play it I wanna play it plus if I didn't make it; it would still be tied and I made it. The best shot I've ever made especially with my peel weight and I use the swing to get it.
Not much happening other than that. Me and my friend are still talking. Oh and Amy is gonna pick me up in 2 weeks on tuesdays for the rest of the season because my brother works from 7-5 so my mom won't have the car.
It's got cold again and I haven't seen the sun in some time. Plus It's weird I went to bed Saturday Night at 12am and couldn't sleep until 3am. I guess I need to get to bed earlier consistently to be able to sleep well.

RCAF

2005-10-11T17:02:00.000-04:00

Royal Canadian Air Farce has to be the funniest comedy show i've ever seen even though it's canadian. I'm watching re-runs of it now and the old REFOOOOOOOOOOORM party lol. Too funny.
Anyway I've gone back in touch with an old friend of mine. Well not that old we went our seperate ways after fighting about what someone said. Basically been e-mailing eachother for a week. I of course have my doubts after all this time and soo much thinking about what went wrong and if she never liked me etc... I guess the healing never stops does it? It's like grass stains you can never get them out and with one of your closest friends you can never get them out of your head.
I emailed the curling club twice about when the ice is free to practice on since I wanna practice a lot but they haven't e-mailed me back! I can't phone the club because no one in authority or no one that knows shit will be there. I know annoying eh?
It's gone really cold in the past week going from 22 to 8 celcius freakin cold! My dad has put on the fire the past I think three nights and it's steaming! I'd rather be off than on because I personally like the cold and get comfortable with a blanket or get warm but I hate the hot when I'm sweating like a pig itching because of the uncomfortableness and wanting to get out of the place. It's a house not a self-made sauna.
I guess that's it!

Wood Lifting

2005-10-05T16:50:00.000-04:00

The wood is in for the winter even though he's fuckin hot out. It's 26 feels like 32 degres out there and it's the start of october. It's crazy. I don't want to do it but no one else will with my dad.
I wanna create a Junior Mixed team with Amy,Laura and Corey this year. the registration starts next Febuary so we have plenty of time and I've talked it over with Amy and she likes the idea and it's for the experience first off and second to get better competition than the lousy one we get at home. Amy is 17 laura is 16 and corey is 15-16 there aren't many curlers my age in Cornwall that are good. I really want to go through with all this.
I want it to get cool so I can start curling. It starts on October 16th but I want to practice a lot since I won't be able to play bantam since I'm seventeen.

Closing the Account

2005-09-24T16:52:00.000-04:00

I went to my therapist for what I didn't know was the last time. After we talked about everything she said she is going to close my account and I was shell shocked! I said I was going to miss talking to her about everything and really miss her "presence" in my life as a guider and helper. She's really got me through all of my problems and I admire her for that. She's been an inspiration for me and is my personal idol in terms of getting me through things.
This week I signed up for curling, I think it was on Monday. It was too hot outside like 24 so the ice wasn't okay to play on. I signed up as a junior but still play with the same people. I had to tell my friend when it was because the club didn't send the letters as to when the sign up is. It was just on the website. Thankfully she signed up because she's a good friend and curler. After we left I thought I forgot my curling key ring because I dropped it but I checked in my pocket and it was there so I know I picked it up.
I've started watching my curling tapes to get me pumped up for the season. I've been doing more school work so that's good. I hope I keep it up.

Tough as Nails

2005-09-09T22:35:00.000-04:00

I'm trying to not bite my nails but I've been doing it since I started school. I twist a metal thing but now I forget where it is.
Curling registration starts next Wednesday-Thursday for the next two weeks. It got me excited about curling and I think I'm going to watch my curling tapes starting like Tuesday. I haven't watched them since i taped them last season. I have ten tapes!
Roger meets Lleyton tomorrow in the semis and Kim meets Mary in the final tomorrow. Hope Kim and Roger win!
The car doesn't work so I had to cancell my appointments do Dr.Patel and Lise. My dad is really mad that Malcolm(the guy that fixes our car when it's not working down the street) isn't at home for the week, he uses the bike instead which is good since gas prices are soaring up to 1.2o.
What's with people saying there isn't enough oil or gasoline? Shouldn't there be enough to last us until the end of time? Or at least that's what I thought and how does oil become oil in the bloody ground. Can't believe I keep saying bloody, I hear it's a swear word in england so I use it instead of saying f***en stuff.
Dad was fishing from 4pm-7.30pm and the family and me were really hungry, especially me who hasn't ate all day. He ordered stuff and we ate around 8pm. I tell you it has to be the latest we've ate supper. There was too many fries and we put them in the fridge with our extra club sandwiches. It's great to eat with your family and be happy. I love eating at night.
I really noticed that tonight it got dark way early than usual about 7.45 when it usually goes down at 9.
Interesting and the fall is coming it seems with the sun going down early and it went down to 18 in the day and 7 at night. Can't figure out if I'm happy or sad that fall/curling are coming. That's it for this week!

Life is a; No I'm a Bitch

2005-09-02T17:49:00.000-04:00

I've been a bitch for the past month giving sarcastic comments to everyone and being on the edge of mad and depressed. I'm still lifting weights but after that nothing just watching television and posting on the computer. I now blame my parents. I tried to get on a diet and not eat as much but they forced me to eat 8 times a day and Sloppy Joes which they say is healthy and thats for one bullshit and too optimistic that I've been eating it for a while now and no pounds have been shed. I've stopped caring when they yell at me because as I said I don't give a fuck about them or any one else for that matter anymore. I do what I want now just like they do what they want.
Also I hate it when they say WHAT? WHAT? and who do you think you're talking to acting all like a cop while they should be pointing the finger at my brother who I know for a fact smokes pot everyday on the day. I went into his room for some of his popcorn and I saw a lighter on the computer and he doesn't smoke cigarettes so it must be pot. I don't tell them(=dad/mom) because I don't need to tell them everything and the last time I told them they didn't care on heck out of it.
I LOVE IT WHEN I'M MAD! Just jokin lol. The only usefull posts are somehow when I'm mad. I need to express my happier emotions on here instead of all mad and grumpy. It's just hard to express happiness for me. To me happiness is me being hyper 10 o'clock at night watching television. Sad isn't it.
Oh and they're mad at me for eating the crutons. They basically raised a fat man because they always tell me to eat eat eat so I've given in and eat. Don't blame me you fuckers :)
I've stopped liking going to Lise's for therapy because it's all plans and when I get out I do nothing and I tend to not really express my emotions to her as I want like me being mad. I know after this post you'll be like what but yah I can't express emotions to strangers because I was bullied and made fun of opening up to people and being called "gay". Which I know I'm not no matter what any one says. So when I meet some one new now I immediately go on guard and become the shyest I ever will be. After the second meeting you'll know me, it might be too much at one time though lol.
Okay I guess this is it. When I stop typing I go into my heckish world(didn't say hell it's always been a tendancy to say heck instead of hell). I know I'll be annoyed by everyone except my dog but I think she's annoyed of me for always petting her oh well. I guess I have to hold on and be the center of my universe. Pure Bliss is what they call it.

Hey

2005-08-28T18:33:00.000-04:00

I went to Lise's and we talked about getting a job etc.. and I wrote my resume and now all I need is a job. I've become really happy since our last meeting trying to get into new things.
I'm trying to get on a diet but my parents keep saying eat eat it's like they want me fat!
We went to Rigaud and the sanctuary we bought some stuff about the Pope and saw the church and we had lunch. We were happy we went in the morning because it got really hot it felt like 40!
US Open starts tomorrow! TSN sucks with their coverage as usual and would much rather show wrestling than tennis

Resume

2005-08-14T19:12:00.000-04:00

Well I went to my therapist and talked about getting a job and doing a resume. My mom and me started friday and I wanna get a job. We'll finish it on Monday looking at my brother's first resume. It'll be stressfull but something I must do. We didn't have much to talk about except getting more socially active and I agree with her but it's to make that effort is the first hurdle that seems like a wall.
I've started lifting weights again and exercise my legs. 2 excersices with both legs and arms going and one with my arms. I wanna get fight but it takes much more than that. It's tough and I have to grow some willpower in me and also extreme patience. My arms have been hurting because of it, I hope it means I'm getting results...

Anxious Moments well not really

2005-08-07T15:18:00.000-04:00

Since I am a die-hard tennis and curling fan I get excited when one of them comes on tv.
The Rogers Cup for Tennis starts Tomorrow! It's the men's in Montreal this week and the women's in Toronto next week on TSN and CBC. I love the canadian opens! National Pride is what I say matters! I hope Stephanie Dubois can win a match in the main draw or Mara Pelletier. The men are on this week and Roger isn't playing because he has an unfortunate injury but he'll play Cincinatti next week which will also be on tv :-D! God I suck lol. I'm waking up every day for the next two weeks at 10am which is early for me in the summer to watch it.
I watch Comedy Now! Last night at 2am when I couldn't sleep. Good Stand Up Comedy is the best to watch gets ya laughing about anything. I don't like women comedians all they talk about is sex and relationships, they probably never had one by the way they're talking.
I have Lise friday and I'm not looking forward to it because I'll have nothing to talk about with her after the year we've been talking about my problems.

Rain is here

2005-07-27T12:39:00.000-04:00

Well this has to be the hottest summer in my memory. It's always been sunny and in the 30's or 28+. Everything seems dry so today we got rain which always means a lazy day for everyone. Especially my parents who nap at 4pm,I swear they're in a retirement home but they're not ;). I burst out last night tired of them controlling where I go and what I do. Plus my dad insulted me and whatever I say you don't insult me or I'm going into shut down mode and I don't trust anyone.
I had this strange dream last night and it was a class that listed every personality that I secretly had and what a person did when they got it. The other classmates were thre Big Brother6 contestants lol. It had mad,frustrated,happy,hyper,sad etc... and I think I was kind of the pet rat and I did all those things in situations. It was freaky. The other dream was that my family was being chased down by a guy that was staring at us and I had to rush into the car and drive away and my parents wanted me to throw a grenade but I said no and they did it but it took like 20 seconds to detonate :p My dreams are the weirdest.
I'm not in the best of moods which is probably why I'm writing. See ya laterz!

There's Vomit in my mouth and Spectro Jel on my face!

2005-07-18T15:15:00.000-04:00

Ya I'm gonna have to explain my title now aren't I? lol Well I ran out of spectro Jel which helps take off the red or dry marks on my face but my dad said that at the store all there was was smelly spectro jel. So I smelt it and I hated the smell but I continued doing it for a day until the bad taste got to me. I swear it smelt like bad medicine you get as a kid. So one night I put it one and i had cotton balls in my nose to stop the smell but it didn't work and I had vomit in my mouth and if it's a little vomit my throat takes it as nothing and swallows it! So I'm off spectro jel until they fix their problem and learn that no one likes bad smelling things on their face no matter if it works or not.
In other news I can't find any good songs to download lately. I have like 15 songs which isn't enough for me. I don't download songs I have on my cd so maybe that's the problem. Plus I don't download much probably because my brother's computer formats every month usually. Also I'm downloading a tennis match but it is literally taking forever. It's saying 77.9% and 4 days remaining. Hurry Up and load! That's it for this week. Byzers!

Blizzards are better than Ice Cream

2005-07-14T21:07:00.000-04:00

We've been going to Lancaster weekly to go to Dairy Queen there. It's better ice cream there than here where it's like water. It gets boring watching the same trees and fields but it's worth it when I get my oreo and smarties blizzard, there isn't any more blizzards that catch my eye. The Oreo one is better cause it has more chunks.
I'm posting now cause there's nothing on television right now and I tried lying in bed but I was hot even with the air conditioner on. I hate lying down or sleeping when it's hot I wish I could have the a/c on all night but of course I'm not paying the bill.
I wanna talk to my old friends but I know I'm going to go through what I've gone through 5 times before and it gets tiring on them and me. Plus my parents don't like my friends or know them either.
I watched Brat Camp. Alone cause I don't really like my parents views on things and they usually turn into mine. I hate when it happens. It's about troubled teens going to a like forest camping thing like boot camp but without the yelling. If I were them I'd just sit down and do nothing and let them carry me everywhere if they have to and wait a month there if I have to. Darn I'm smart ;)

Sweet

2005-07-10T18:49:00.000-04:00

Is content the greatest emotion to feel under happy or are they the same thing? I pondered it some days ago and it's still with me. Content to me is being relaxed and not being worried about a thing but what's at hand. Nothing happening met a girl and she's nice. Already talking about soo much on the internet especially about tennis. Of course it's a virtual fake relationship lol but she's cool. nothing else happening. just watched technow it's a good show with interesting stuff on the world in technology and how to do things better.

Been busy

2005-07-03T11:49:00.000-04:00

Havent blogged for two and a half weeks which means I've been busy and lazy to type my thoughts on here. I just watched the wimbledon final with roger winning for the 3rd straight time I'm really happy for him but sad for Lindsay since she had a match point but lost to Venus.
I went on another boat ride last week,we went further than before past the lighthouses I got scared and we say a big ship and went close to it later we say smoke come out of it. It wasn't like before where it was exciting and new,I found it a bit boring and wanted to get back home.
Canada Day was Friday and as usual we didn't do much and the fireworks weren't happening since there was too much wind. Also Live8 was yesterday I watched like 8am-12am on and off sometimes. It was really good! Only 10,000 showed up in tokyo which sucks but there was 40,000 people in Barrie,ONT,Canada :) Great performances! The heat went down to about 25-27 today and yesterday when it was up to 30-33 last week. Not much other than that!

Boat Ridin

2005-06-22T22:51:00.000-04:00

My Mom said we'd go boat riding tonight and I was really excited. We got there and we took the water from last night's rain out of the boat with sponges and a bucket. Then we were off and we went a long way. The water kept getting in my face so I turned to my side alot. We saw the mountains in a distance and some houses on it. And we saw a ton of lighthouses and there were soo many great views out there on the St.Lawrence River. We saw a tree hanging over the water and a far lighthouse behind it if you look at it right. Plus we saw soo many birds, herons,cranes,hawks and ducks on the lake. I was amazed that in the middle of the water the water was more shallow then away from it. I noticed it because I saw a big rock with birds sitting on it. We were wonderin what it was so we went up to it. Also we saw some passenger planes which we never see in the city. Most likely cause there's less pollution on the water. It was a great boat ride for me and my mom and dad. Boy am I tired tonight and I can't wait to go to bed. On the ride home I heard my parents talking about my brother and complaining that he's following his friends to live in Ottawa soon. After all dad did to keep his job he wants to leave, typical for him!
Today's "wart" appointment we had to wait more than last time which sucked. It hurt so much when he put his spray on it again. I was trying to explain what had happened to them while i wasnt seeing him and he was like forget the history sean. Holy bleep did it burn. It still hurts a bit and I'm being very fragile with it. There's four on my right finger tips and one on my left thumb.
My assertiveness session went well. We talked about situations that happened in the past week. I like the people there, we're all pretty open which is great and is a more relaxing environment.
So it has been quite busy and I'm looking forward to no interuptions of my tennis watching tomorrow!

Hot then Cold

2005-06-18T20:33:00.000-04:00

It was hot before now it's cold because of the rain for the past two days. I like the cold cause it comforts you but hot energizes you. Dunno which I like best.
I shaved this week for the first time. Shaving surprisingly didn't hurt it was like nothing. Most hair is coming from under my chin which is where I shaved a lot.
My Dad's motor is finally working! I'm soo happy for him because he's worked on it so hard for like a month. My mom says we'll ride in it. He was happy too. I'm glad he got it goin.
Wimbledon starts Monday! 8am-5pm for the week. It relaxes me soo much I can't wait like paris.
I'm trying to find happiness in my life every day. It's hard but I'm tryin!

C'est trop chaud

2005-06-14T16:56:00.000-04:00

It's been hot for a week. Getting into the 30s is regular now. Sunny. Now it's raining which is good cause it hasn't rained for like a week and a half. It's 22 celcius and humidity is 100%. It's suppose to rain until Sunday but I don't trust anything past tomorrow where it's gonna thunder storm and 24 degres.
I just came back from Lise's group and it went well we talked about rights again which I already talked about with Lise. I like the woman with the glasses and she's married. She's really nice and open and we've kinda become friends. There were only four people there this week. I wonder what happened.
Right now I'm literally shaking cause I haven't ate today but I ate yesterday. I hope I get healthier as time goes on.
Wimbledon will start next week and qualifying is taking place and all canadians except one Marie-Eve Pelletier is out. Stephanie Dubois lost 6-2 6-2 and me and my friend are arguing about her nickname. Im calling her step and he's still figuring it out :p
And Hey Maddy! How are you? I'm getting more self-esteem as time wares on but I feel I have too much worries on my mind. I worry about the little things too much and I'm learning how to handle it.
Also I was thinking about something to write but I forget. I'm sure it will come up. Byez!

Ow

2005-06-08T17:40:00.000-04:00

Me and my mom are okay. We were okay i think saturday when she asked me to see my dad's boat. It's small and green but good. The motor sux so he's desperately trying to fix it.
I went to the doctor's yesterday and just talked about how I'm doing and getting a new prescription to my pills. It always takes an hour in the waiting room and 20 minutes in the room. It went fine, my mom thought he was in a bad mood but he wasn't with me. Today I went to the wart doctor Dr.Yanofsky and he was quick to the point. My mom said it wouldn't hurt but holy (*8(* it hurt likehell. It still tingles and the appointment was at 10.30. I have four of them and I'm using my left hand because I'm worried I'll do something wrong. Not much other than that happenin! and hi maddy

Worst Mood of all

2005-06-03T15:48:00.000-04:00

Hey people. Let's hope you're intelligent enough. I haven't talked to anyone for about two days since I got punished for swearing three time while playing a game yesterday afternoon and I havent spoken since and I dont plan to. Im listening to Simple Plan right now on Winamp.
I woke up today finding out on steves computer he deleted everything but the music but I couldnt find it so I downloaded everything again and finally found it and had to switch everything. He keeps doing it without a thought. I hate it.
Plus today Roger lost to a ego-tistic spaniard rafael nadal in 4 sets. Federer just netted forehand after forehand and didnt attack the second serve. Nadal jumps just to say Vamos and holy fuck does that get on my nerves. My favorite mens player losing when he was up 3-1 in the 4th doesnt help my mood.
I just petted the dog outside and kissed her on the head and my mom did that ignorant tx or sumtin and I just waved the middle finger at her to show her to fuck off and she said something like are you done school yet. Like what the fuck are you talking about Mrs. I know everything.. Im pissed at everyone except my dog who I can hardly go near now without being told to leave her alone or some shit like that.
This is my worst mood in a while. I'm full of anger and revenge but Im too chicken shit to get it(revenge). I have more of a back bone than most people would think. I don't really like to take crap from people. It just takes your bad comment to me to set me off into get the hell out of my face mood.
I went to the group thing on tuesday and boy was it boring. Lise just talked and talked. I guess Im one of the more open ones in the group which shows how much more self-esteem and confidence I've gained over the past year. thx Lise. I have Patel next Tuesday so I'll have to call Lise to say that I have patel at 1:20 and we should make other plans.
Still nothing to eat and my stomach is continuously growling. If they dont do groceries or if I dont have any supper Im gonna wanna get something to eat cause my head is dizzy and light headed. Ive only ate about four things in the past three days.
It's gotten hot over the past days, yesterday it went up to 29 and i slept with the windows open for me. It's still hot and it's suppose to stay that way. I got two new shorts this wednesday and I like them. I wish I had my license so I could do it myself and feel some freedom from the parents of cheap hell.
Nothing is happening other than that and this computer makes noises and is freezing on me now continuously cause I have my music on. Bye

Ed Bore

2005-05-28T17:09:00.000-04:00

Im always bored now and it sucks ass! I try doing shit but nothing "cures" it. I listen to music and watch the tv to pass the time and do some work.
Today is a great day it's about 25 and sunny. Tried to get some sort of tan going since im pale as a white whale(couldnt get an animal that rhymed). I sat outside in the sun listening to avril let go for about 30 minutes. I watched some trailer clips of madagascar and its funny but not every scene. I got my haircut too. It's not like last time's where it was perfect, it's okay. A bit shorter than I wanted. There was an old guy that came in that worked for the cemetary and seemed really freaky and his freaky friend too. He talked out loud always and of course Terry who's half dead or so I'm assuming made it worse by saying what after every sentence. I thankfully stood up for myself or my dad and got my fav barber Luc. He's the best.
I'm trying to get a good music downloader right now cause my brother deleted everything by really shutting the computer down and I had to re-add everything. Why man why! Plus I need to catch up on my music and who's hot and what I should download. I'm really selective of the music I like.
Nothing to eat Reporting reporting nothing to eat! They didn't buy any doritos and I am pissed off. BUY THEM! I unfortunately dont have a low image of myself to order out or go out and buy doritos and basically portray I'm fat feed me. I think I've lost some weight cause there's nothing to eat which is good. Don't have a scale thank god or I'd be torturing myself constantly. Anywho that's about it.

In a Bad Mood for no reason

2005-05-24T17:26:00.000-04:00

I guess today is a day where I'm bored and then mad. There's nothing to eat so I'm most likely gonna order out later for ME. I was a half hour ago listening to avril lavigne and talking to charlie david(cd for short) about tennis and other shit. Lise cancelled again My mom called back to see why and the secretary said for family reasons and thats understandable and respectable. Other than that not much except the french open is on. bye

T.G.I.F.

2005-05-20T17:31:00.000-04:00

Its Friday. Just had steak on the bbq and fries. Nice supper just talking about the weather and the flowers that they bought. I'm pretty "content" today cause I'm not really worrying about much. Just wanna spend time with my family and have quiet time and not argue with them since I did two nights ago about a discussion about if the tv was too loud when they went to bed and i called my dad an asshole and that trigers him off to a fight then later when downstairs and watched tv.
My Mom always comforts me. I love her. She seems to understand me and how I feel and how I get when someone argues with me and how easily my feelings can get hurt etc.. She's pretty cool.
Today's a nice day. I think it went up to 22 today mostly sunny. A nice day to sit outside. Unfortunately it's suppose to rain for a while starting tomorrow afternoon. This weekend is a long weekend since it's Victoria Day on Monday. My Dad took today off to make it even longer lol.
The government survived a confidence vote yesterday which kept it alive against the Bloc-Conservative alliance. The parliament roared when chuck cadman rose up to say Yay to the vote. A moment in history.
Roland Garros starts on Monday for two weeks. Canada's coverage sucks since it only starts at 10am when espn classic starts at 6am. And Yes I would get up at 6am to watch tennis it just shows you how much I love tennis and curling.
Other than that there's not much else going on. Look forward to writing again.

Lise is off

2005-05-18T20:18:00.000-04:00

Lise cancelled the group on Tuesday. I did my homework and everything.. the night before.
Today the water was shut off for three hours which delayed my shower and made me feel dirty. Theres no pepsi left except in a bottle. Im HUNGRY and bored a little.

Long time since i blogged

2005-05-15T01:03:00.000-04:00

I've been wanting to write for a while so I just do it now. I went to the assertiveness group last week on tuesday. It was great except for a girl who looked like a hooker but she was in a winter jacket on a day when it was up to 27 but she thankfully left. We just went through passive aggressive and assertive. Everyone had some laughs, this old guy tom seemed uptight about it all like he was forced to be there.
Tonight theres a lot on television from 6pm-1am. coronation street special,king of the hill,malcolm and the middle,karol: a man who became pope and im soo looking forward to watching that after the death of late Pope John Paul II; simpsons survivor final and reunion. Also theres the hamburg final with federer-gasquet. Gasquet beat roger in monte carlo so I look for roger to get revenge :D and world hockey final canada-czechs. Lots of tvay!

Is this house full of the cold virus?

2005-05-09T23:54:00.000-04:00

Im serious. I got the cold again from my brother and my nose is blocked up and i cant smell anything and everything I eat tastes like snot. Its extremely annoying!
I got my group thingy tomorrow at 1.30pm-3pm. I dont know what to expect, I guess Im just going to go there and see what happens.

Relaxing

2005-05-03T20:56:00.000-04:00

Today I went to Lise's and we basically reviewed everything we talked about since June. Also she said what my parents told her last appointment and it was really nice. We talked about any problems I had and how I've improved. I won't see her one on one for about a month and a half. I start the assertiveness training group next Tuesday at 1.30-3pm. I'm actually looking forward to it even though my Mom was asking if I was.
Other than that everything has been low key and I'm really progressing!

Bitter Sweet PAIN

2005-04-26T17:34:00.000-04:00

I a short time ago(20 minutes) fell over my ankle and screamed in extreme pain when I got off the stairs. It still hurts kind of like an after shock. I hate the feeling! But liked the attention and love they gave me.

I went to the dentists on monday and it only took 30 minutes to get the 2 done. Shortest fillings I ever got. It didn't hurt that I got Roxanne as an aid to Dr.Deneka. She's sooo nice! We shared jokes and talked really nice. Plus she always asked me if I was ok when they were working on me. They have a new thing where they but rubber in ur mouth and it seperates the mouth from the tooth/teeth they are working on so it's less discomforting for me the patient. Great new idea! I don't go to the dentist until December.

Today I went to Lise and all that happened was that she talked to my parents about how they feel I'm doing. Plus we agreed that I would attend an assertiveness training session every Tuesday at 1.30-3pm starting at May 16th. My next appointment with her is May 3rd at 2pm.

Dentist makes me nervie

2005-04-24T23:13:00.000-04:00

I have a dentist appointment tomorrow at 2pm. I am so nervous for it since it's a filling appointment. I hate it! There's so much pain and discomfort in filling. I haven't had a filling in like two years but I got a cavity :-( so the dentist will have to be on my schedule tomorrow.

Where No One Knows Me

2005-04-23T00:17:00.000-04:00

I am now obsessed with this song tonight. I heard it on tv and also the radio in the past and I went to Jann Arden's site and listened to it in its entirety and I love it. I wanna buy the cd to it with my HMV Gift Card. I got it some months ago and I still have to use it.

Got my suitcase
Got my dog
I'm packing up my life so far
Got my pictures
Got some cash
I'm getting out of here at last

Got my hands on the wheel, got my foot on the pedal
Gonna drive till I drop, till the tires turn to metal
Gonna sleep when I'm dead, gonna laugh like the devil
Gonna find some place where no one knows me
Gonna stop when the last drop of gas turns to vapor
Gonna ride till I can't even seem to remember
Who I was when I left and it don't even matter
Gonna find some place where no one knows me

Feel the sun burn on my skin
I feel the wind whip through my grin
Tore the rear-view mirror down
I wrapped it in my wedding gown

Got my hands on the wheel, got my foot on the pedal
Gonna drive till I drop, till the tires turn to metal
Gonna sleep when I'm dead, gonna laugh like the devil
Gonna find some place where no one knows me
Gonna stop when the last drop of gas turns to vapor
Gonna ride till I can't even seem to remember
Who I was when I left and it don't even matter
Gonna find some place where no one knows me

I'm trying to download it on Winmx but it's taking a long time. Plus I'm thinking of going to bed soon. Hurry up and download song!!

What should I believe?

2005-04-22T17:15:00.000-04:00

I again read the St.Malachy prophecies yesterday and everything was incredibly accurate. He predicted the day of his death, and he said all the popes until the end of time. Not the exact name but their coat of arms and mottos. Everything is so precise. The latest pope is in the prophecies "He will come from the benedictine thing or wutever" and now we have Pope Benedict XIV. The next pope is suppose to be satan and peter romanus. He will ruin the church and end of time will happen and the last judgment. It is realy scary to think it could happen soon. My mom doesn't believe it saying that Jesus didn't even know then how could he know? She has a point but I still believe the prophecies.
Also we ate burgers,pizza. Oh my god. My stomach was in so much pain, I had to go to the washroom every 3 minutes and then I finally had diahrea. A relief!
I'm in a better mood yesterday and today. But my brother again came home early. Around 3pm and I was soo pissed.
I bet all my vcash(fake money) on andy to win today. Vbetting happens in the mens tennis forums.com and wtaworld. I'm basically addicted to it. I bet 1002. All I had at that time. I hope he wins!
I also hope I get more happy(if that's even a sentence).

Do I have PMS?

2005-04-20T23:57:00.000-04:00

I don't know why but I am getting some weird moods for the past few days. I'm mostly mad at people for no reason thinkable for me. Plus I hate it when my mom asks what's wrong and I say no because there is nothing wrong. My brother came home early so I had to get off which just infuriated(if that's how you spell it) my madness :-p. I dont know what is *promoting* me being angry sometimes which means a lot of the time. I guess it's because I don't get much privacy since everyone is talking and moving around me. I hate it! Wow I guess that's why I'm mad. My parents talking behind me when I'm on this downstairs computer(my dad is gone to bed and my mom is watching tv). I like the upstairs computer because it's in A room with a damn door for privacy and my own thoughts. It probably sounds selfish but it's the way I feel. I'm sure it will let up soon and I will be back to normal(if even that's normal).
On another note a new pope was elected yesterday at 11.51am my time 5.51pm rome time. I and my mom were extremely excited to hear the name Joseph which meant that Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger of Germany was elected. A(now pope) that is conservative and has conservative views and he sticks by them no matter what. That is worth my full respect and I wish him all the success in his maybe short or long papacy. :-) Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger chose the name Pope Benedict XVI(16th). It sounds like a weird name to me and the last pope that used it was a pope in the early 1900's during the 1st World War. I had goosebumps when he came out on St.Peter's Balcony and the crowd roared. A moment to remember for the ages for me.
I am getting really annoyed with Liberals who say "He's too conservative with the issues facing our world like abortion,aids and woman priests." If you don't like it change religions and stop complaining and start respecting your new pope. If you are not a Roman Catholic then may I ask Why are you speaking!
There.. Boy this was long but a lot has been happenning :-)

No-Name

2005-04-18T16:24:00.000-04:00

Not much happening. I started on my french lessons and completed the 1st lecon and going on the second. The Pope conclave has begun and there was black smoke today and the next meeting is tomorrow. Other than that its pretty normal and dull here. The weather is warming up but still dry there were 38 bush fires yesterday in Ottawa. suppose to have showers on wednesday. Thats it :)

Everyone Wins

2005-04-12T17:44:00.000-04:00

Everyone I wanted to win this weekend and yesterday won. Ferbey won the worlds,Pelletier won her 1st round in charleston,woods won the masters,blue jays beat the red sox and I won my curling game+my blue and bronze skills awards. Yay! Im so happy. Now that curling is over all of my attention goes to tennis and the clay court season. The Masters Series Monte Carlo is on television from 12.30-2.30pm every day until sunday when its on at 8.30am-11am.
I got my french course in the mail before and my parents are bugging me to start it. It's not something I am really looking forward to doing but I guess I have to, to pass the time around here!

Funeral

2005-04-07T17:36:00.000-04:00

The Pope's funeral is tonight at 3.30am and I'm contemplating on staying up to watch it like others will in my bed. I probably will.
Canada is at 7-3 and need to win their last game to get a tie-breaker or playoff situation, GO CANADA!

He has died

2005-04-04T00:12:00.000-04:00

Pope John Paul II died this Saturday at 9.37pm rome time 2.37pm eastern time. May he be with the lord and rest peacefully.
I went to church with my mom and dad on Sunday and went to mass. Haven't been to Mass in a long time so it was great to be there and celebrate the Lord and the Pope's life and spirit.
Roger Federer won the nasdaq 100 open after being down 2 sets to none and a break and came back to win it in five 2-6 6-7 7-6 6-3 6-1. Great win! Canada is 2-1 at the ford worlds curling championships. As you know I'm a huge fan of David Nedohin and his team and have a website running. http://www.geocities.com/ObsessiveCurler/Tribute.html

I am completely devoted to it.
I am again a religious person and cannot help but feel grief for the loss of Karol Wojtyla/Pope John Paul II. He has inspired soo many people including myself and my entire family. May He be with God and become a saint and may I meet him in heaven when I die. God Bless Him.

May He R.I.P.

2005-04-01T18:31:00.000-05:00

The Pope is dying and my heart is pouring out for him. My family has made a commitment to go to church Sunday in his honor and my heart is with him and I hope he goes into the arms of Christ peacefully. My mom got a rosary made of roses by nuns who have a vow of silence. Beautiful and it has a permanent aroma to it that I can still smell on my hands. May the Pope rest in peace with Jesus Christ

Easter Sunday

2005-03-27T17:27:00.000-05:00

Today is Easter Sunday and I went to confessions on Holy Thursday before Good Friday at Blessed Sacrament.
I hate when there are christ movies on because I am always drawn to watch them and I have to distract myself from watching it. I hate it because of Jesus' crucifixion and all the bloody stuff etc.. I am a Roman Catholic and take great pride in it but I hate watching his death.
Today I woke up and turned my alarm off at 9am because the worlds final was on at 10am. I unfortunately fell back asleep and missed taping it when I woke up at 11.30am! I was soo pissed and I have to tape it at 7pm on countrycanada and miss most of the Players Championship on Sportsnet. Go Martin!
My mom gave me two caramilk easter eggs and at supper we ate Breaded Chicken Breast and I like it a lot!
On Tuesday I got my new curling shoes (the same that Kevin Martin wears) and I can slide to the far hogline like the pros! I curled with them on Tuesday and the only time I can next curl with them is on April 10th and it's a long time away plus add to that it's going to be my final curling game.. Great timing Bubba(the guy that got me the shoes).
My Cold is finally gone. I now only get a sneeze and blowing my nose sometimes like normal.

P.s. I am getting so pissed off that I have to keep re-writing my blog entries because it doesnt Post the first time!!!

Losses are tough to take

2005-03-20T17:42:00.000-05:00

I played in winchester today and we won our opening game 6-4. In the second game I was down 5-3 I had to wick my stone onto the one in the four to try and see if I could win. I was soo close and it sux I didn't win both of them. Surprisingly I came in last place even though we won a match and some teams didn't but they got more rocks in play and thus far more points. We won 10 bucks at least. Im pretty bumed about it.. thats it and my cold is still with me :p

Previous Post Dumped

2005-03-18T19:02:00.000-05:00

MY PREVIOUS POST DIDN'T POST ITSELF SO I HAVE TO WRITE IT OVER AGAIN :mad:
I got the DVD Wimbledon in which I was/am super stoked about. Btw I'm gonna say was because I'm pissed that I have to re-write all of this shit. I'm an avid tennis fan and I have wanted to watch the movie for months on end.
I still have my cold but it has calmed down and I'm not blowing my noser as much as I did before. I hope it calms down even more by Sunday.
My parents say they know how to get to the Winchester Curling Club but I don't know the directions. I again can't wait until Sunday so I can play in the Winchester Curling Tournament!!!

Cold but Partay!

2005-03-14T01:16:00.000-05:00

First off I must note that I have the worst cold I've experienced.... It's a head cold. Yes that's right a head cold. My head that is driving me crazy has a cold and is putting me down and making me tired but still I stay up as usual. No cold can stop ME!!! :-D :-D
And on a small note ;-) Randy Ferbey/David Nedohin won the 2005 Tim Hortons Brier in Edmonton against Nova Scotia. I am so proud of the boys and jumped and screamed after they finally won!!! I prayed to the lord last night and during the final three stones I just kept saying "I have faith in Christ, I have faith in Christ etc.." and he pulled through for me but more importantly the Ferbey Four.
Pacific Life Open(tennis) on television is on right now and throughout the week. Luckily it is on 1-7pm tomorrow which I am pumped about! Hopefully I can tape the endings of tapes that have about 30-45 minutes left on it from my no commercial tapings. Plus the canada cup of curling is on tv on the weekend and is having webcasts of round robin play during the week that is a bonus for everyone.
The Canadian junior Men won the world junior curling crown over Sweden 5-4! Great win after being down the whole week! That seems to be it for now!!! I hope I feel better tomorrow

Best Haircut

2005-03-13T00:18:00.000-05:00

I got the best haircut I can remember having in my entire life. I am always disapointed with how my haircuts turn out but this one I got Luc and it turned out just right. I was soo happy after I got it. It used to be long and shaggy which was getting old with me.
Tonight Alberta(Ferbey) meets Nova Scotia(Adams) in the Tim Hortons Brier Finale. I hope and pray that Alberta wins!!!

OuT oUt

2005-03-10T18:57:00.000-05:00

I was so busy this week! First of all I had curling on sunday which went really well. As usual I am always excited to curl(being an ObsessiveCurler ;)) I won on Sunday I think 12-1, the biggest margin of victory for me. Luckily I had the best team in the club that I will curl with in a bonspiel on the 20th of March in Winchester. On Monday I had a dentist appointment, somehow I wasn't nervous when I was going there I'm usually a wreck! Unfortunately I have two cavities from the previous appointment. I got a great dentist in Kelly, boy is she funny and extremely nice, she does my family's teeth as well it's the first time I got her. I hope I get her again. She said my teeth are great and can tell I have been taking great care of them which made me proud. On Tuesday I had to go to the doctor's. A nerve wracking day for me since I neever like to see Dr.Patel. He was unusually low key and didn't pressure me into stuff. It made the appointment much easier. On wednesday I went to my therapist's Lise. I love going there since I can get anything and everything off my chest to her since she doesn't judge and only tries to help me with my problems. We worked on assertiveness and what your rights are as a person. A great tool! Right now I'm watching curling and hoping Alberta(Randy Ferbey) wins and gets 1st place.
Wooo. That was tiring just writing this :p Hope I have another good week ahead of me!

I am Seventeen!

2005-03-02T16:41:00.000-05:00

I am seventeen! Yesterday was great got a great cake and I will soon get some new curling shoes :) Dream come true*tears*.
Also while I was shoveling the driveway my next door neighbour in whom my family hates was freaking staring at me. I was scared she'd do something to me but Sacha(my dog) was there so no worries.
There was a huge snow storm and we got the worst of it with 30 cm. Unbelievable so I didn't go to curling.

Busy

2005-02-28T00:07:00.000-05:00

Well firstly I am really disapointed that Jenn Hanna of Ontario lost to Manitoba Jennifer Jones 8-6 when Manitoba made an unbelievable in off to win and score four in the 10th end! The best shot in scott history considering the pressure and angle on the stones.
Secondly I have a huge bump on my forehead when I was playing counter strike and it was dark and not to my knowledge the door was half open and I walked RIGHT into it and i have cuts and a huge bump. I like it though in the weird way it is.
Also I went to my therapist's and it really helped to talk to her, not like the previous times when I wasn't comfortable being there. We talked about a bunch of things that actually interested me. Really helped this time around.
Today in curling Ethan,Corey,Cory and me won 9-1 and I currently have an 18-13 record. I signed up with them for a bonspiel in Winchestor March 20th. I am looking forward to it and everything about it AND.. that I have good curlers on my side.
Last tuesday I got my blue badge as I successfully completed it :-D Onto my bronze and for the first time the quiz is difficult so I'll look online and see what I can find.
Last but not least my Birthday is this tomorrow at 12.14am ;-) I'm one of the few people I know that knows the exact minute I was born and the story behind it. I guess I'm very personally oriented. Looking forward to it. I hope I get some presents since last year I was soo extremely mad I didn't get any + I wanted my dairy queen ice cream cake. Best cake of all time :-D
I'm busy with thoughts now keep me on a roll!!!

Curling is underway

2005-02-20T17:14:00.000-05:00

I am so pumped since the scott tournament of hearts has begun! I love curling soo much! :-D I watch every draw that I can.
We rented the harry potter dvd's #2&3. Unfortunately my parents must have forgotten that I wanted Wimbledon as well.

Tired after Curling...

2005-02-12T17:05:00.000-05:00

I just came back from curling in a bonspiel at the granite club in Ottawa. First of all I was late since my mom at the last minute decided she wanted to come. So it took longer than we expected anyways but I was just some minutes late and played the 2nd end. We lost the first game 8-3 and the next game after that 10-5. The second team we lost too from the home club were really nice and cool. We played pool and just hung out downstairs. There was Pizza and subs for lunch, I didn't have a sub because I hate them and the pizza was all dressed so I took everything off of it ;) In our final game we defeated Winchester 10-0 and everyone played great.
At the end Carleton Place won. But there were three HMV Gift Cards to be given away. The Manager asked a question Where are the 2005 Canadian Juniors being held. At first I didn't know if I should've raised my hand so I just decided to spit it out and I knew it was Fredriction,NB. So I won :) It was a great but a tiring day in Otttawa.

Did NOT go

2005-02-08T19:15:00.000-05:00

I decided not to go to school plus I cried about it last night which disturbed the family and I talked it over with my mom and she said all that matters is that I get an education and it definitely made me feel better. Plus I played today in curling and the ice was really fast and straight but I adjusted well to it by not throwing much handle to get it to curl and hardly pushing out of the hack to get it to the tee. We won 5-2 :) I'm 15-10 right now. I play in a tournament this Saturday in Ottawa :)

Anxious

2005-02-06T17:57:00.000-05:00

Tommorrow I go back to school. I am feel like I'm trapped in a hallway and I need to keep walking through it but I am getting tempted to open the door and ruin all the plans and everything I have done along the way. It sucks ass. I bet you I won't be able to sleep because I'm so anxious of what will happen tomorrow and the rest of the week. I wanna stay here but I know I can't but it doesn't matter. Right now I guess my head is full of buts. Help me please!

Nervous

2005-01-31T15:02:00.000-05:00

I am starting to get really nervous because next week I go back to school and all the feelings I've had before right before I go to school. I don't think it's the people but it's just the environment of the whole school and even the teachers. Most of it is within myself and my own feelings about the whole situation. It will be really hard to go back but I know I must fight through it for my parents, my therapist and my doctor and not let them down after all the work they have done for me. I hope they will be proud of me when I go back and show them the results of all their hard work.

Played Bad

2005-01-27T18:56:00.000-05:00

As you know last Sunday I played in a bonspiel in cornwall. In our first game we were up 4-0 after three but lost eventually 6-5. Horrible. I was so pissed off. Then when I was more relaxed we lost 7-2. Not what I expected.... I am still planning to go to Ottawa and Alexandria on Febuary 12th and 13th to play in tournaments. I am now also planning to go to another Bonspiel on febuary 19th at the carelton heights club. Lots of curling. But I need to play well to succeed.
Nothing else is happening at the moment except the 2nd semester starts soon which is really nervewracking to me.

Slow Day Today

2005-01-22T15:57:00.000-05:00

Today is a slow day because the bonspiel is tomorrow. I just can't wait for tomorrow to happen! We are playing eight end games and I'm playing second which is great since I got my new broom that lets me sweep really well. I got my two new shirts. They look like a long sleeve under a t shirt but there isn't a long sleeves its just the sleeves. It's awesome, I've decided to wear the black-grey one instead of the red-blue since it looks better on me.
I got my haircut. I hated it yesterday when I got home but now that I've washed it today it looks much better and not so flat. Not like it's spikey...
Anywho I want this day to be over already!

gone to the spiel!

2005-01-19T15:52:00.000-05:00

Lynn gave me some great news that im playing in the spiel with my friend nic and two 19 year olds im soo excited and pumped for it this sunday. We start at 10.30 and play two six end games. Hope we play well!

Bitch Lynn

2005-01-16T14:56:00.000-05:00

We were playing for the right to represent cornwall in the bonspiel next week. I signed a friend up but she wasnt there so Lynn(the so called instructor) said no since she wasnt there to sign up so instead she put me with two little kids and nic against a great team with great players so I lost 6-1. I dont know if I will ever go back again.

Got IT!

2005-01-14T15:37:00.000-05:00

I just got my new curling broom! I must tell you it is the best I have ever seen and even better than I had imagined! It's a performance curling broom red and black my 2 favorite colors in the world! I feel honored to finally get it! I am really hyper!!! Thank you lord for this gift I have recieved from my parents!! :D:D I can't wait to try it out this sunday!
Also this is my last year of bantam curling and I am signing up for a lot of tournaments. I hope I can play in the cornwall bantam/junior bonspiel on jan.23. I already signed up for feb.12 in ottawa and the granite club and on feb.13 in alexandria and the alexandria curling club. Plus I'm trying to get my friend Laura to sign up with me for the bantam/junior mixed zones.
My mom and me ordered two shirts that look like theres long sleeve shirt under at t shirt which is something I have been trying to find for a while. Plus I am attempting to get my mom who is sleeping right now to get me a cornwall curling centre jacket like everyone else has! Hope everything turns out ok! Byez for now!

Feel Left Out in curling

2005-01-11T23:21:00.000-05:00

I'm unfortunately not in the bantam zones since it's too late and I guess they don't want me.. I'm playing in three spiels that I know of at the moment. I really wanna play with cory,kyle and nic like I did today but I know it won't happen. I won today 6-1 so im 11-4. I just wish I could play with them. I'm thinking of making a team for the bantam/junior mixed zones in febuary. Hopefully no one has planned for it..

I want to Play!

2005-01-09T13:49:00.000-05:00

I won today in Curling 7-2. I made a fabulous shot with a lot of weight. I was sooo excited! Drew Poirier called and said that tennis lessons will be going on again this saturday at 11am. Hope I do well and I hope the ppl that suck stay away. I want to play more bonspiels in curling and I figured out that I am still a Bantam player so I can play more bonspiels. Thing is I need a ride.

Don't make me smile...

2005-01-01T18:35:00.000-05:00

I was going to hang out with my best bud Kayla but my parents said no because of our past.
See she used to "bully" me but we've made up x100 and we're best buds now! They cannot recognize that which is total bull shit. Now I am not talking to them, only occasionally to saw yes or no when it's important. Like do you have curling. It's so frustrating, I feel like they don't want me to have any friends! They already pushed one away oh here's another one, away with you. Why won't they respect me and my desicions!

Joyeux Noel

2004-12-29T22:15:00.000-05:00

It was a good christmas or Noel. I got clothes,socks,new remote control,$110 and a new curling broom AND im getting a new tv and satelite receiver or at least thats what my dad said. My god parents aunt Anita and Odette, Uncle McGill and his girl friend giselle came over. I love it when they come over to the house, but unfortunately my parents are not very fond of them and their presence. I don't know why!
By the way our Christmas tree is perfect as ever. Most likely the best on the block, I know since a lot of people open their windows so people on the road can see their crappy tree. Not us. For Christmas diner we had roast beef,roasted potatoes and turnips. I never liked turnips but I somehow do now, weird but interesting.
I lost my first curling game last week since my fourth game of the season, I'm currently 8-3 and playing well. I play next Sunday.
I really wanna hang out with my friends but they are still busy. I'm tryin to hang out with my buddy Kayla L but it's not working well again I HATE IT!
See you later!

Christmas time is here!

2004-12-19T13:49:00.000-05:00

We put the christmas tree up last night. It's beautiful, we again put it upstairs where it stands out even more! My mom is getting really religious and she hates it when people call it x-mas or happy holidays.
By the eway the demented Lynn my curling teacher got another whacky idea and gave cards to people and told them to go to that sheet. I got Sheet 5 Skip. If you lost you had to move one sheet over. It was really confusing but I won three out of the four games which is great and I am 8-2 this season!
I can't wait until christmas and I hope it won't be bad like last year when I don't get anything I wanted. I only ask for four or five things this year. Haven't seen any presents but I know they've been shopping for them since they've been out a while.

I wanna gooo!

2004-12-13T22:28:00.000-05:00

I wanna go to the canada cup east in ottawa bu of course my parents say no. It seems that if I wanna go somewhere out of the city and it's not free then its a definite NO. It gets real frustrating if it's somehow not convenient for them. I am pissed off!

Snow!

2004-12-11T16:24:00.000-05:00

We had a blizzard last night and this morning. I love snow but I don't like that it wets my bottom. I learned how to work the snowblower today! It was kind of scary but I finally know how to do it so mom and I won't have to shovel the snow out and wait for dad to snowblow it. Winter is here!
We haven't put up our christmas tree yet which sucks. My mom says they don't have time. I would do it if I knew how. The tree is artificial by the way. I don't know why people get them straight out of the woods. You have to throw it in the garbage anyway.

Lord have Mercy

2004-12-05T20:40:00.000-05:00

I watched a show Heaven's Key to peace. It was moving in a lot of ways. It was basically focused on the three children of Fatima,Portugal who saw the Virgin Mary in 1917. She said a lot of stuff but one thing that was big was that the Pope had to concecrate Russia to get Peace throughout the World. If he doesn't then the whole world will become athiest and communist. How frightening is that to hear it?! I'm still moved/scared by it. We signed an international petition to get him to concecrate him, as the "documentary" said it doesn't cost much to avoid evil and destruction!

Got it over with

2004-12-01T14:49:00.000-05:00

I just got back with registering the school. I was nervous going there again of course. We went into the guidance councillor's office. Went to MacPhee's office, she seemed nice and understandable with the stuff we told her. I registered the second semester with canadian history,english,science and religion. I actually can't wait to get back to school and see everyone again. After I registered and signed stuff I met claire roy a social worker in the school. I thought she would look much older than she was when I met her. She introduced me to a student something I forgot but I thought I knew her from somewhere, maybe from bosco but I never asked her. We went to get my locker upstairs since that's where my friends' lockers are. She said you look there and I'll look there. I found three in a row that weren't being used so I of course had to take the middle one. So we got "locker lady" and she got me to sign something and put down the locker number and got the janitor to unblot it and I put my key lock on it since I can never unlock a combination lock.
When we went back downstairs I saw one of my old friends DJ. I yelled her name and she was extremely shocked to see me. I was happy and at the same time relieved to see someone that I really knew and liked as a friend of course.
This day is a load off my back and a load off my worries of the past day. It's great to be back to myself and my life!

Pressure

2004-11-30T19:20:00.000-05:00

I just played at the curling club. I sucked!! But it was tied 3-3 going into the final end(6th end) and I had hammer. I peeled off every stone except one which my second hit on the nose. At first my line was horrendous so Lynn(my curling instructor who was on my team) told me to put my wrist higher from the rock and it worked but my weight sucked after that.
Anywho it was the final stone and I had the whole house to draw to. I had to come through a hole! It somehow just hung on the back 12 to win! I am/was ecstatic!It's great for me to know that I can make shots under extremes of pressure.
Also my mom called the school to register me. I can't say I want to go but it must be done sooner or later. I hope I'm not uptight then...

New Shoes

2004-11-28T14:08:00.000-05:00

Today was great at curling. Lynn my curling instructor made teams for the whole season and we play against each other. I am extremely grateful that I got a good team with a buddy of mine being one of my teammates. We won 7-1! The ice was frustratingly slow for us and you could hardly get one in.
Also Lynn gave me new curling shoes for free!! It's sooo awesome to finally have some even though they feel weird compared to regular shoes.
I still know my brother smokes weed and it "maddens" me that he does it behind everyone's back and my parents don't take control of the situation.
Since I didnt tell you how my appointment went with my therapist it went like it usually did. Talking about my life. I hope and need to improve more so my anxiety can quiet down to normal. Thats it for today!

Im right and ur wrong!

2004-11-27T16:42:00.000-05:00

I'm right and the tournament is wrong :-P I knew the score of the continental cup was actually a 48 points lead and not a 40 points lead. The tournament website was wrong and I was right. Curling is a great passion of mine and that I love. I even missed tennis today cause I wanted to watch it. I curl tomorrow morning which is great but I hope I have the guts to tell the "instructor" and get amy to come with me.
Also I've been playing counter-strike source. It's a great game that I suck at but still play when my brother goes out somewhere.
Also I sent an email to my teacher and he said that I was being rude when I clearly wasn't. I guess he was in a bad mood since he gave me my good mark later.

Listen!

2004-11-21T14:39:00.000-05:00

I came back from curling today. I won 12-1. I found out Laura called Lynn and told her we don't want to play with the little kids which is soo true but I guess Lynn didn't listen since we are still playing with them. It is sooo annoying. Amy and I are going to tell Ltnn we want it as it was before with the good/experienced people on two sheets and the little kids on the other. It gets real frustrating.
Also why can't I get the personal courage to do it myself???
There are only two more weeks of tennis lessons left. So sad..

Social Life

2004-11-18T23:42:00.000-05:00

All of my friends are extremely busy in their lives right now and I'm unfortunately not. I asked a friend if she wanted to hang out tomorrow but she said that she'd hang with her bf but before that we could probably hang out so I gave her my number. I really hope that she calls and we can hang out around here or at her place or I don't care where. I haven't seen her in a while and wanna hang out with her.
Today we had an amazing supper, the restaurant sent the wrong order. We ordered small pizza,two plain hamburgers and a small poutine. They sent a large pizza,fries and a large poutine. Well they told us to keep the poutine so we had two poutines. Tons to eat but we couldn't eat it all. Most of the poutine(s) are in the fridge and so are my burgers since I like to save things until I am really hungry. Don't wanna be a pig of course!
Also I am still working out at home while no one knows. I see I'm building muscles in my arms and I don't know if it's just me but I think My stomach is getting a bit flatter. God, please help me lose weight! As I said in the previous post I've always considered myself to be chubby but I hope and pray that with my little workout I'll be healthy and skinny or really less chubby.
I went to my doctor Tuesday. It was the usual. No biggy! I think the pills are having the same affect on my life as usual so nothing to be wow'd about in my improvments. I am almost done my business assignments. The only thing to do is to complete the last module. I really need to get it done tomorrow and not on the weekend I think since I'll be distracted.
I know my brother smokes weed and I vowed to myself to cut off communication with him at all costs but why can't I!! I keep getting friendly with him when I don't want to. I guess you could say I have little will power. I don't know what to do, I will most certainly talk to my therapist about it on my next visit. Lataz!

Hail Holy Queen!

2004-11-13T21:42:00.000-05:00

I am trying to find hope and faith in my religion and the Virgin Mary right now. I just said my holy rosary, it calmed me down a lot. I mistakenly said the wrong mysteries since I thought it was Sunday. I think she will understand. Right now my Lord is someone I can trust and someone I can be with with the few troubles in my life.
Also I am desperately trying to lose weight. I've been doing 200 push ups and sit ups a day and also lifting weights every day. I have noticed change but really want it to continue. See, I have always pictured myself as the chubby kid that had extremely low self-esteem in myself and is jealous of other people that are let's say "fitter" than I am. I want to lose a lot of weight and gain some muscles if you know what I mean???
Another thing that happened is today I AGAIN found my brother's pipe and weed. I do not care if other people are alright with it because I am not and think it is completely wrong. I again confronted him and he called me a, cunt? I had no idea what it was so I just just now looked it up and here's the definition from WordWeb:
A woman who is thoroughly disliked; Obscene terms for female genitals
EXCUSE ME! Now I have no respect for this so called sibling in this house, I will extremely try to cut off all communication with this person for the disrespect he has for himself and other human beings.
With that I say good night!

Lest We Forget

2004-11-11T18:08:00.000-05:00

Today is November 11th, Remembrance Day. My grandfather served in newfoundland and built ships. He died in 2000. What a great man.
Anyways I am horrified at the disrespect that us teenagers give to remembrance day and the people who served for us. None of my friends really talked or cared about it. What a shame. I believe it should be taught in almost every class but it unfortunately isn't. I'm wearing my poppy right now. Dunno where I'll put it tonight. Maybe in my drawer?
I had my two minutes of silence at eleven o'clock. I give great respect to all who served. May god bless their souls and graves.

I swear I will swear at her!

2004-11-08T21:16:00.000-05:00

It's Monday. Yesterday in curling Lynn(the curling instructor) put the big/experienced curlers with the unexperienced. I was soo pissed since she always does this! Now I know I gotta tell her no one likes playing with them because we're not having fun since it's sooo boring and it is! It gets so frustrating and if she doesn't listen to me I am soo outta there since my dad will wait up for me to see if we're playing with the little kids again :rolleyes:
My tennis lessons are getting boring. We are doing the same thing over and over again, I wish we could just play a tennis match sometimes. It sucks ass.
I went to my therapist this Friday. We talked about all the problems in my life and about my friend and how I should deal with it. She really helps me calm down and think about things other than reacting on my first mad and raging reaction to things that happen in my life. I owe her a lot and I need to get her an early christmas present for all she has done for me and helped me in my next visit.
I need some money though! Gotta work! I don't work right now but it is a priority of mine, I hope to work at No Frills this winter If I want to but as I said I need the money. Byez!

Great

2004-11-03T16:53:00.000-05:00

You could use that word in two voices happy and sad.
On the happy note everything is fine with my life. I'm optimistic about a lot of stuff! I play curling this weekend and surprisingly won 8-0 and I must tell you I made everything and every draw. Gotta love those days. My tennis lessons are going okay. I wish I could play a tennis match and not just on certain things in my game.
School is going fine except my teacher keeps telling me that my website links do not work but when I try them they work perfectly. Is he blind or just completely ignorant? I'll find out sooner or later.
Here's the worst part about my life. My best friend and I haven't talked for weeks. Things can change in a second of what you say or someone else reacts. I wish we could be friends again, she hasn't answered my message or my e-mails since she most likely blocked me from her mailing list. I need to contact her and talk to her about all of this shit. Is my life better without her or with her? Will we ever talk to each other like best buds should again? Can't wait until Febuary when I go and she's there and we actually talk. The only way we won't talk is if she becomes a 2 year old and runs away or just ignores me. Only time will tell but my time is running out. Laterz for now! Byez

Got the flu shot

2004-10-27T18:29:00.000-04:00

I've always hated needles but Ive known for a while it doesnt hurt, it's just a pinch. So I got the flu shot tonight, and for crying out loud we had to wait half an hour to get it. I felt like I was in the refugee camp with everyone sitting down together and six tables in front of you waiting to give the needle. My family and I got a nice girl, about in her twenty's. Very nice about it which is great and it hardly hurt, as I said it was just a pinch in the left arm.
On the downstairs computer we finally got Windows XP. YEAH!!! Pierre(our computer technician) had to put it in since windows 98 was screwin up soo much. It's great, it has all the games and thankfully all of my previous files are still saved!
By the way I have been trying to watch Austrian TV online(tw1) and it won't work downstairs but it easily works upstairs. It better work tomorrow morning so I can watch tennis :mad:
My former best bud and I still haven't talked since last Thursday. It's a huge pity,we had a great relationship but I wonder if it was a true one?
Well I gotta go watch my fav show! Byez!

End of a true friendship??

2004-10-24T15:58:00.000-04:00

Today I played my curling match. I had to wake my dad up at 9.30 since it was at 10am. He though it was at 11am. I played really well i won 8-0, score two,stole two,stole two,stole two! My draws were on thank you fast ice!! I love fast ice since I dont have to push that hard out of the hack.
I also played tennis yesterday, we worked on approach shots and control it was fun as usual!
My friend? and I had a fight on thursday I think. She's getting mad at me for what someone else said. I thought she was a better person than that but I guess not . I hope she unblocks me from msn and finally talks to me. I've been called a thousand names and I get over it. I even got called names from someone I thought was my friend. She was/hopefully is my bestest friend i've ever had, we somehow connected and gone through soo much in our lives. I hope we can be friends again.
Talk to ya lataz!

Everything's Alright Yes Everything's Fine

2004-10-20T19:55:00.000-04:00

We used to love that song in grade eight when we did a project on jesus christ superstar. Classic times. Well yes everything is great, I fought with my dad yesterday but me and my mom talked about it blah blah blah and we're good. The only thing is that I cant say anything about my personal life to anyone.
I didn't know how bored I could get not being aloud to go on the computer. I finallu got to sneak on while my mom forgot to turn the intenet off. Everything seems normal or at least at the moment.
My dad's birthday is tomorrow! he's I thinks 49 or 48. Dunno I think 49. I always make a homemade card for everyone's birthday and mother's and father's day, on the back I put the crown and Hallmark underneath it lol. Yes I think highly of my cards but my poems in them seem to be the worst part of it.
The weather is getting really cold about 0 overnight and 9 tomorrow and cloudy, go away snow.
Halloween is coming up soon, Bible people are complaining since it's on a Sunday and of course the Lord's day is sunday and Halloween is by some considered the Devil's day which I do not believe one bit, It's just to have fun and get free candy while you can, I hate it when people gives apples or coke to me I WANT CANDY :'(.
Well gonna go!

NO CURLING

2004-10-17T16:51:00.000-04:00

My dad didnt give me a ride so I didn't go curling. I'm so furious!